Can We Please Escape?…
19th April 2025
I don’t keep to my word, do I?!! I’m completely fucked. I only had two hours sleep last night, but I need to write to you. I can’t tell you how much I’m missing you my lovely. It’s really hitting me at the moment {} xxx
The world’s becoming unrecognisable. So much has changed over the last five months. So much hate. It really feels like humanity is disappearing.
Would you like to escape with me? I’m playing Ready by Holy Holy and Sumner right now. Please crank the volume up. I wish I could get blasted with some red and just dance. I really want to dance. This is the perfect song for it. I just want to feel alright. Would you like to join me? I wish you could {} xx
I really hope you’re okay my beautiful and precious starshine, and you’re with the wonderful Doctor. I really hope so. I can’t tonight but will tomorrow. It’s brilliant having him back along with his new companion Belinda. They need to continue ruffling those feathers.
I’ve just finished watching the seventh season of Black Mirror. It’s fantastic. You’d love it. I feel they’ve gone back to their roots, and for me it’s been the best season so far. Technology is there in its full glory, but the human condition takes precedence.
Hotel Reverie, Eulogy and Common People were incredibly poignant. They had me in tears. I don’t want to ruin anything, but I noticed loneliness was a theme that was in all six episodes, to a greater or lesser degree. The need for connection as well.
I’m finally feeling it too. You helped keep the feelings of isolation at bay. I escaped with you and completely forgot. I felt okay. I felt joy with you. I guess I buried these feelings like everything else. It’s time to feel it. It’s part of the grief that comes with this illness, and it’s also from my childhood onwards. I never allowed myself to feel any of it. Again, this is how I survived everything.
I think my estimate of it taking a year or two is probably accurate. It’s a huge mess to untangle, but I hope I’ll be able to start with a fresh slate afterwards. I hope so. Fingers crossed.
This really does feel like going into that cave. It’s necessary and so is this isolation. I know this illness doesn’t give me a choice with it. Perhaps it’s what I needed…
Please bear with me, if you can and you still want to. I’m realising just how transient and fragile life is, including all the people we love. I love you with all my heart my precious sweetheart, I really do. I’m hugging you like the very last time and it’ll stay with you {} xxxx
I bet you have something amazing for dinner. Thoroughly enjoy every heavenly mouthful for me, along with the wine and the fabulous music {} xxx
10.19pm
Galileo (Someone Like You) by Declan O’Rourke is such a beautiful song. It’s sublime. I hope you fall in love with too my lovely {} xxx
11.33pm
I’m keeping everything crossed the Aurora app buzzed you {} xx We can only see it through the phone. I just took some photos. This was the best one. I used the pro settings on the phone. I couldn’t see anything on my screen, it was black. It’s only when I took the photo that I saw Aurora doing her best to shine through the clouds.
Aurora at 11.27pm
Nnight my lovely, sleep well and blissfully with sweet dreams for me. I’m hugging you ever so tightly {} xxx
21 April 2025
I was completely wrong to think it was Aurora on Saturday. I took a photo last night with the same settings and it produced similar colours. It must be the settings. The photos from the 16th April are Aurora. They were taken using the automatic settings, which I tested the following evening.
I do feel a little disappointed, but the sky looked magnificent, and it was an unexpected and exciting surprise.