Cutting the Cord…
22nd June 2023
I do need to make that final cut. It’s extremely difficult, but the situation is unintentionally causing me harm. There’s sadly nothing when there’s no real communication and connection. I’m not triggered by them so I am seeing it rationally.
It takes me a long time to recover from the brief and very short interaction. The pain subsides and in turn the hope starts to grow again. This cycle continues. It hasn’t changed. It’s not going to. It’s time to let go. It does feel painful, but I need to.
I can’t tell you how sorry I am for being so triggered with you. I’m also extremely sorry I couldn’t come out if it with you this time, but I think I need to come out of this one myself. It’s a big one. Being in a constant triggered state would’ve been harmful for both of us. We would’ve inadvertently triggered each other.
I feel it will be different once I do the work I need to on my past and myself. I should hopefully be more secure within myself. I don’t know if the triggers will completely go, but I should be able to manage them better and anchor myself. This would be healthier for both of us. Again, this is only if you’d like to continue our friendship my lovely {} xx
It’s 23.32. I imagine you must be getting ready for bed or you’re already tucked in. I’m tucked in and will go to sleep as well. It’s wonderful it’s cooler tonight.
Sleep well and very restfully my precious starshine, and have the sweetest dreams for both of us {} xxx Humongous love, hugs and kisses to you {} xxxx
00.11
The clouds are crying their hearts out.