Dancing the Afternoon Away…
3rd March 2026
Good evening my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
How are you? I really hope you’re okay my lovely, and you’re happily enjoying a very chilled and restful evening. I imagine you’ve had something superb for dinner. I hope you’ve treated yourself to something special as well {} xxx
I hope you’ve had a really good day, and it’s not too stressful at work. I imagine you’re doing brilliantly as always. I also hope you have some peace of mind with everything else {} xx
I opened a bottle of Saint-Emilion this afternoon. It was heavenly, but I missed the rich fruitiness of our special red. You really have converted me. I do feel tiddly, but happy.
I don’t know if I’ve already said this, but I need you know that I was never drunk with you. Relaxed, yes, but never drunk. When we hugged, all my insecurities dissolved without a trace. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I always felt completely safe with you, and in turn I was always myself with you {} xxx
With red’s assistance, I ended up dancing with my upper body, whilst sitting up in bed. The music went through me, and I moved to the rhythm. It’s not something I can really do safely, my heart rate rose to 140 bpm, but I enjoyed it. It was an expression, and it felt like a release.
In that half an hour, I didn’t feel trapped in my body. I felt so free. As free as I did when I was six, dancing happily at the birthday party. Despite my dad chastising me for it, I realised that I didn’t do anything wrong. He made me feel ashamed of my body. I was a bad girl. But I was just a six year old having fun.
I came home in tears, and I remember going straight to my mum for a hug and comfort. My dad didn’t speak to me for a while. He was so angry. It was on that day that he hijacked my body, and then it continued after my mum died.
I always felt I couldn’t dance after what happened. I felt awkward and inhibited. Alcohol frees me when it comes to dancing. Liron’s never seen me dance. The last time I danced freely in public, was at the end of the first year of the art course.
I think Liron is right. She’s always seen me as being a sensual person, in the sense that I enjoy things to the fullest, with every cell of my body. So with this in mind, how can I not dance when the rhythm fills my being? Dance is an expression of it. I felt it today. I felt like me. That six year old having fun, without any fears or inhibitions.
My dad took so much away from me…
Harry’s live version of Aperture is great to dance to. There’s a jerkiness to the rhythm as well. Others were Miles Kane’s cover of Back of Love, Bronski Beat and Marc Almond’s I Feel Love/Johnny Remember Me, Birdy’s Paradise Calling, The Weeknd’s Blinding Lights, and Indochine and Christine and the Queens’ 3SEX.
It’s 22:22. When did you last dance? I hope it was recently, and your body, heart and soul loved every single beat. I imagine talc would’ve been over the moon as well xx
I don’t know what I’m going to wake up to tomorrow. I’m expecting an almighty crash. I’ll take an extra L-arginine to help soften it.
It’s time to say Nnight. Get as snug as a bug in a rug my lovely, and sleep well and very restfully. Dream sweet and blissful dreams for both of us {} xxx
As always, tons and tons of love, with humungous hugs and kisses to you. I really do miss you. Take it gently my precious sweetheart {} xxxx