Expressions of Love…
30th July 2025
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine,
How are you? I really hope you’re keeping well my lovely and you’re having a fabulous week. I hope wherever you are, the sun’s beaming brightly for you and everything is okay {} xxx
It’s wonderful the sun came out in Brum today for Ozzy Osbourne, his family and all who love him.
I’m struggling badly with the crash and I started my monthlies as well. It’s been very painful and draining, but I took the tranexamic acid tablets today and it has reduced the bleeding. Fingers crossed. Tomorrow’s going to be tough. I have a blood test at the surgery first thing and therapy in the afternoon. I’m going to crash hard. The iron infusions have definitely helped though.
I heard The Cure’s gorgeous Lovesong today and I thought of you {} xxx It expresses how I feel. I did feel at home with you, especially when we hugged. I still do. Again, I couldn’t quite understand the depth of my feelings, but I do now. I’m learning a lot through the Doctors and their companions. I would say this is how I see you. A precious friend and companion with whom I share a deep connection and bond with. That’s all I ever wanted and needed.
I have changed a lot since Long COVID. Before I found oxygen, my body used to shut down during the crashes and it felt like I was dying. I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be here. It was terrifying. I needed to make sure that my loved ones knew that I loved and cared for them, in case anything happend. This has continued. The sparse contact makes it more important.
My expressions of love has also changed. I am more open. I use terms of endearment as well as I love yous, and I mean it and I feel it every time I write those words. I feel that love and affection. I felt it every time I wrote to you. I’m feeling it as I write these letters to you. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The Doctor always reminds me of you, and I as your companion, but I can relate to Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor and how his character developed emotionally. He could finally express how he felt openly, and in the last episode we could see him express his love with joy, despite the pain of knowing his time with his loved ones was coming to an end.
Love and joy do go hand in hand. As well as with our loved ones, doing, seeing and experiencing things we love also brings us joy. Love is infinite and I feel it’s there to be felt and shared with each other, in whatever form it comes.
The love and joy I feel with you is something I’ve never experienced before, but I’d say this could be because of the deep connection and bond we shared. I still can’t fully explain it, but I feel a lot is at an unconscious level. What I do know is that you’ll always be my home {} xxx
Sleep well, sleep restfully and blissfully my lovely, with sweet dreams for both of us. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I’m hugging you extra tightly {} xxxx