Human…
1st March 2025
It’s 5.24am and James Baldwin’s profound words from Life Magazine 1963, which I sent you, comes to mind. He’s absolutely right, what I’m feeling is what the majority of people have felt or will feel at some point. This is what it means to be human. It’s what connects all of us, and with it brings deep empathy.
With the nature of my illness, I can’t really escape any of it. I need to face this along with the unhealed wounds from my childhood. It’s necessary because it’s all connected: feeling abandoned, unwanted and broken.
This quote from James Baldwin also hits a chord:
“An artist is a sort of emotional or spiritual historian. His role is to make you realize the doom and glory of knowing who you are and what you are” James Baldwin
He’s right, how can I express thoughts and feelings about the human condition, if I haven’t fully felt? I’d only have half the picture.
Finding James Baldwin’s wise and profound words, as well as To the Harbormaster by Frank O’Hara, on the morning of 16th November, was perfectly timed. They gave me a forewarning of what was to come and why.
I hope I am right in thinking that you felt your brief contact was a mistake. I know I didn’t express it, but I was re-triggered and my anxious side returned, the same as in November. This would continue until I work through it and work on myself. I sadly feel we’d continue triggering each other because it’s unresolved, along with the root causes within both of us.
I really do hope you’re okay my precious starshine, I really do. I know you’ll be busy, but I hope you will have some time to rest and relax this weekend. It’s also a very chilly and frosty morning, but at least the sun’s shining. Wrap up and keep warm and cosy. I love you and I’m sending you the biggest comforting bear hugs {} xxxx