Bait…
27th March 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine,
Happy holidays!!! Yay!!! It’s 18:00. I imagine you’re very happily home. If you’re out enjoying a drink or two, thoroughly enjoy it for me too my lovely {} xxx
How are you? I bet you’re extremely happy and relieved to be free. I am for you as well xx I imagine you’ve had an exhausting week. I hope you’re not too shattered. You can completely switch off from everything now, and rest, rest and rest {} xxx
I’ve just finished watching Riz Ahmed’s Bait. Have you heard about it? It’s absolutely brilliant, funny and multi layered, just like an onion. The onions aren’t green though. Booker T and the MGs popped up on my feed yesterday. I thought of you xx
I think you’d really enjoy it. It was an unexpected surprise, and it hit home quite a lot as well. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. My urges seem to be working their unconscious magic.
I really do feel lost today. There’s so much that’s unravelling. I’m unravelling…
Liron pointed out that my survival mechanism of pushing and trying to run away mentally, is stopping me from pacing properly. She’s right, my survival thoughts and behaviours are the driving force. This includes the harmful thoughts I have about myself, which is a huge part of it.
I don’t have peace, and that pushes me to go beyond my limit. It overrides everything. In some ways it’s like an addiction. I struggle to control it.
The only way I’ll be able to manage this illness properly is by quieting that protective voice/drill sergeant, and finding new ways of creating safety. The old ways are extremely harmful for me. It’s like I’m constantly punishing myself. It’s like I’m in purgatory.
Writing to the dentist is part of the process of making myself feel safe. I’m stopping myself from internalising it. This is a big step forward.
It’s 19:55. I hope it’s not long until you can fully settle in for the night, and thoroughly enjoy the start of your amazing holiday. Jethro Tull wants to join you with Bourée xx
Curl up, and get nice and cosy my lovely xx Enjoy the most gorgeous and relaxing evening together, with your scrumptious meal, fabulous music and your precious heart full of soul {} xxx Chris Isaak’s great rendition of Heart Full of Soul comes to mind.
I’m sending you my heart full of love, hugs, kisses, infinite wishes and plenty of soul. Rest well my beautiful sweetheart, with lots of fun and excitement for me too. I love you {} xxxx
It’s 20:34. I’ve just joined you with totp. A-ha are singing Stay on These Roads. I really hope so…{} xxx
Sleep well my beautiful angel, with sweet and blissful dreams for me {} xxxx