Chandelier of Grief…
27th August 2026
Good morning my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
It’s 07:45. The heavens have just opened up after sky’s tum rumbled loudly again. I’m so, so sorry you’ll be driving in it. I’m keeping everything crossed it calms down before you leave. I hope so. It’s really bad at the moment.
How are you? I do hope you’re okay, and you slept well and very restfully. I imagine you’re slowly waking up with your delicious breakfast {} xx
A flash of lightly has just made me jump.
I woke up to the very sad and upsetting news of Yayoi Kusama’s death. What a few days it’s been, with Dolly, Tim Curry yesterday, and now Yayoi. It’s not surprising the heavens are opening up with tears.
I just read that she actually died on 14th of August, but due to Japanese traditions, her death couldn’t be announced publicly until now. She was a remarkable woman as well, and her work is iconic. I saw her mirror rooms replicated a number of times, but they didn’t quite capture the magic of hers.
I told you of how I was blown away by her work. My first experience was at Tate Modern in 2012, with Liron. It was the largest retrospective exhibition of her work to date. Like millions of others around the world, it’s her mirror rooms that filled me with complete awe and wonder. I was so excited. I still am.
I remember getting her autobiography, Infinity Net, after the exhibition. That is when I fully connected with her. Her childhood trauma affected her severely, but it never stopped her. She was the outsider in the art world, but that completely changed years later.
She’s such a strong, resilient and courageous woman, who’s always been true to herself.
It’s 08:30. The rain has calmed down for you. Absolutely brilliant!! Get to work safely my lovely xx I’m keeping everything crossed the traffic’s not too bad at the moment. I imagine it will be without the school run. Perfect!
I saw The Chandelier of Grief in 2016, just before I started the course. She helped me get in touch with my grief for my mum, thirty-three years after her death. I still remember it vividly.
This video of Chandelier of Grief, by the Victoria Miro Gallery is great. As always, videos and photos can never capture the full experience, but the moment where I felt I was looking at a sea of souls, is from 24 to 28 seconds. That’s the moment I felt I was seeing my mum, amongst the sea of souls, but they were in the other side, out of reach.
I had such a profound and moving experience in Yayoi’s monumental Chandelier of Grief. I wish I could’ve stayed in there for longer, but I’m so happy I had the chance of experiencing it, along with so many other things.
It’s 10:10 xx I hope you didn’t get too wet, and you’re now completely dry. I hope you’re having a good start. I imagine you’ll be saying a very good morning to coffee soon. They’ll give you lots of warm hugs and kisses from me as well. I hope you’re okay my lovely {} xx
I need to be really careful with my brain. I have started to write to my dear friends, but I sadly can’t do that much. The right side of my brain is feeling numb, which is a warning sign that it’s at its limit. Again, I can’t lose my brain. I’m completely fucked if I do.
Please take the greatest care of yourself and have a wonderful day. I hope you’ll be able to take it at your own pace, and it zooms by {} xxx
I’m thinking of you and I love you loads. Sending you tons and tons of love, with the biggest and tightest of magical healing and protective bear hugs, bursting with kisses {} xxxx