Dumbfounded…
6th May 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine,
It’s 17:31. I’m keeping everything crossed, if you haven’t already, you’ll be running out of that door very soon.
How are you my lovely? How has your day been? I hope you are keeping really well, and you’ve had a wonderful day {} xxx I hope everything’s been at a good pace. I imagine everyone is happily busy, and you must be in huge demand as well. You are a star. You all are {} xx
I got through the cortisol test. They first took a blood sample, then gave me an injection of Adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which stimulates the adrenal gland to release cortisol.
They took another blood sample after 40 minutes. The cortisol levels should be higher. I’ll know in six weeks if the levels are okay, sooner if they’re too low.
Research shows that Long COVID patients tend to have lower cortisol levels, but it’s not the adrenal gland that’s causing it. It’s not the root cause, which means steroids might not be the right treatment. Again, I’m keeping everything crossed the iron infusions and L-arginine have improved it.
I’m so glad Liron was with me. I was thankfully lying down for the test, but it didn’t stop me from crashing. Oxygen brought me back again. I was glad to get home. L-arginine is magic as well, but I do need proper rest now. I’m amazed I can write this to you, but writing to you has always been easy {} xxx
I started writing this earlier.
I wasn’t going to say anything because I wasn’t quite sure if I was hearing correctly a few days ago. I’m not sure if I misunderstood what they were saying because of a translation error, but they sent another message which made it abundantly clear where they stood regarding transgender people. I completely understand why Liron has cut all ties. They weren’t as explicit with her as they were with me.
It’s the person who advocates alternative medicine. I am dumbfounded. It wasn’t long ago that they told me they didn’t pity me with my illness, because I’m not helping myself by going to alternative therapists for treatment. They said I’m responsible for me dying. So with this in mind, why am I still shocked by their words today?
They feel transgender people are trying to convert “normal” people to being transgender. They feel that they’re “terrorising” the population. They say they’re not against those who are born in the wrong bodies. They have a right to live as they are, but it’s the “others”. They acknowledge the suffering as a consequence.
They’re saying this at a time where transgender people feel their existence is being threatened, and their rights are being taken away. They’re living in abject fear. It’s horrendous and heartbreaking.
I’ve felt sorry for this person because they’ve isolated themselves from everyone. I know that they do love us, but then they harm us with their toxic and harsh words. They don’t seem to have compassion, especially if we’re not doing what they think is right.
You came to mind with the advice you gave about another friend, who held similar toxic views. Thank you so, so much my precious angel {} xxx I didn’t send anything. I got reinfected with COVID-19, and by the time that was over, it was no longer necessary. There’s been no contact since.
It’s 18:18. I just got another message. There are many things they’re saying that just doesn’t make sense. Much of it is conspiracy theories. I’m confused.
They say that Peter Theil wants to turn everyone transgender so that they can become sexless machines. His objective is to eliminate humans and only have a few human robots. They also think the vaccines are to eliminate the human race. I know how dangerous Peter Theil is, but even if he’s said this, it’s impossible to do.
This is not good is it?
They’ve just sent another message. Things are starting to make a bit more sense now, but I’m extremely worried about them. They saw a ghost healer. They also mentioned David Icke and talked about angels and starseeds.
I’ve never heard of starseeds so had to look it up. Starseeds come to Earth from other dimensions and planets to help heal the planet and guide humanity. They’re advanced souls living as human beings.
I know they do have their deep prejudices, but I feel despite what they’ve said, their heart’s in the right place because they said they want love and peace in the world. This is what they’re expecting as an aftermath of all the chaos that’s happening around the world.
I’ve heard this from my perpetrator. He spoke about angels and the coming of a new world order. He claimed he, and the followers of his teachings, were advanced beings who are here to help humanity, when two thirds of the population die by natural disasters. The difference was his equivalent of seedlings were reincarnated in human form, not alien.
He also talked about being guided by angels. He was scathing about David Icke though. He also believed that the moon landing didn’t happen, and I almost fell for it!!
This is how persuasive these dangerous people are, and vulnerable people are their target. I was one of them, and so is this person.
I honestly don’t know what to do. I will need to speak with my therapist. I know how dangerous cults are, but the problem is, if it wasn’t for the police coming, I would’ve continued believing all the bullshit that was coming out of his mouth.
He deliberately isolated me from the outside world, which is what’s happened to this person. No one could’ve dissuaded me. It would sadly be the same for this person as well.
I do feel very stressed and worried. This isn’t something I was expecting. I thought they were being kept safe from the people, because they weren’t seeing anyone.
I’m seriously ill and I just don’t have the energy. I don’t have the energy to take care of myself, but I feel a sense of responsibility as well. I feel for them. It’s very upsetting. They’re lost, but what they believe is their truth.
This is very serious. The ghost healer will be making a lot of money from them as well. My perpetrator was different, he didn’t want payment, but now I know that the “payment” was in other ways. Again, this is why, along with my experiences at home, I don’t expect anything from anyone, and why I do everything unconditionally.
I know trying to intervene isn’t an option, that would push them further away. I’ll ask my therapist for the best way to approach this. A safe way. I’ve been in this situation, but I don’t know how to deal with it from the other side.
It’s 19:15. I hope you’ve almost finished doing everything you need to, and you can fully settle in for the evening {} xxx
I shouldn’t have looked at the polls earlier, shockingly Reform could take our council seats. We’ll all know on Friday morning.
I hope I’ve remembered correctly that your ward is the Tories. They feel like the lesser of two evils at the moment. Never thought I’d ever say that!! This feels much worse than Brexit.
It’s 19:19 xx I really do need to shut up now. The adrenaline has kept me going, and the messages have given me another spike. I still feel dumfounded. I wish I could ask you for your thoughts and advice {}
That’s the problem with cults, once you’re in, you’re trapped. Only we can get ourselves out. I was lucky to have the girls and the police to break that spell. Actually, it was the perpetrator slipping up about not meeting one of the girls, that broke the spell. I would’ve still believed his innocence otherwise. That’s a frightening thought.
I know I don’t believe in anything anymore, but I feel I have been looked after. I was on the day he slipped up. I needed to see it with my own eyes. Although I’ve lost my life with this illness, I’m happier I lost my life like this than with him. I’m completely safe now.
Please take the greatest and gentlest care of yourself my precious starshine {} xxx I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. I can imagine you voting xx
Twitter’s a cesspit at the moment, with everything against the Greens. My appointment thankfully kept me away from it today. Let’s hope and pray for the best tomorrow.
Enjoy settling in with your gorgeous meal and lots of chilling. Make your beautiful heart sing for me too, then sleep well, sleep restfully with sweet dreams for you and for me {} xxx
I’m thinking of you and I love you so much. I’m hugging you tightly {} xxx
The world really has become unrecognisable in the last eighteen months, hasn’t it?!! We need love and light, and lots of it. Rest well my lovely {} xxxx
My stress levels have put my shitty immune system into overdrive. I really need to be careful. I can’t deteriorate. Gaz Coombes Oxygen Mask comes to mind. I’ve just put his stunning live version on, and it’s brought me to tears. I do feel completely overwhelmed right now…
I really do hope you’re okay my precious angel. I do hope so {} xxxx