Full Circle…
6th March 2026
Good evening my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
It’s 17:39. I imagine you’re very happily home, and you’re getting prepared for the special rugby game tonight. You must be so excited. I am for you too!! xx
How are you? I really do hope you’re okay, and you’ve had a really good week. I’m keeping everything crossed you’re not too exhausted. You can now rest, rest and rest my lovely, with lots of fun and relaxation {} xxx
I just saw this wonderful interview with Duran Duran, on Broad Street in 1981. It’s lovely to get a glimpse of the old library. I thought you might enjoy the clip as well. They mention The Odeon as the concert venue. I thought of you xx
I imagine you’ve already seen the video of Iran (So Far Away), with Donald Trump and The Flock of Eagles, by Dr Phoxotic. I saw a clip of it a few weeks ago, and thought you’d love it as well. It’s great seeing the whole video. It didn’t take long for their prediction to come true.
I had therapy today. I’m struggling badly now, but I needed to write to you. The extra L-arginine is helping. I’m so thankful for it.
I have gone full circle back to the beginning. The trauma started the moment my mum died. I felt the raw pain again, when I told my therapist I felt like I’d died when my mum did. I really do need to feel this grief, and then grieve for everything else that followed. Little by little.
It’s the grief and all the other repressed feelings that are keeping me stuck there. Stuck in that room. Also stuck in the house with the perpetrator. It’s all connected.
I can’t tell you how deeply sorry and upset I am, to know the extent of how much my past was being triggered with you. Please, please forgive me my lovely. I honestly had no idea {}
I thought I was improving, but it was just a sticking plaster. But then I couldn’t have faced all of this if it wasn’t for you. You helped me get in touch with all my emotions, and I thank you with all my heart and soul for this. I really do {} xxx
If there’s a chance we can resume our precious friendship, I don’t want to fuck anything up with you. This is another reason why I need to work through this, so that I’m in a much healthier state. I need to do it for myself, but also for you as well.
I feel so much was messed up in the final moments with you. I don’t want to repeat that again. My triggers and my past have done enough damage. Please forgive me my precious angel. It feels painful as I write this, and my tears have started. I desperately wish I could hug you and put everything right {} xxx
Synchronicity worked its magic today. One of the first songs to pop up this morning was The Proclaimers’ I’m on My Way. I don’t need to feel on top of the world before I contact you, but being close to it, most definitely. I feel hopeful it’ll be by the end of next year, if not then definitely the following year. Time is flying, so it’ll be here in no time {} xxx
Someone also posted The Storybook International theme song. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I also remember sending it to you. I loved it as a child. I loved escaping with stories. I read so much. It’s 18:18.
The lyrics in the story teller’s song are so lovely, and it’s how I’ve always felt. It’s the lines, “Sometimes there are tears. Sometimes there is laughter, but always a happily ever after…” That’s all I ever wished for throughout my life. A peaceful and happily ever after.
It’s now 18:33. You haven’t got long to go now {} xx If you need to pop out, I hope it’s a quick excursion, then you can enjoy settling in for a thrilling night.
Take it gently and restfully, and enjoy the most fabulous and exciting evening for me too my beautiful sweetheart {} xxx I’m keeping everything crossed for your special team. I’m sure they’ll breeze through it.
Make your sweet tum jump for joy as well, with your gorgeous meal and medicine’s magic touch. I imagine medicine’s getting warmed up for the rugby as well. Yay!!! Please enjoy their delightful company for me too xx
I sadly will need to be quiet. I have my appointment with my ME/CFS occupational therapist on Monday. I need to try and recharge.
I know I don’t usually stay away for very long, but please take the greatest care of yourself my lovely. Thoroughly love every minute of the rugby this weekend, along with all the fabulous music for me too (playing and listening). Make your precious heart sing with joy {} xxx
I love you so much, I really do, and I’m hugging you extra tightly. My love, hugs and kisses are always with you. Rest well my wonderful one {} xxxx
I almost forgot. I took these photos a few days ago from my bed. I do love the 300mm lens.
It’s 21:44. I’ve just seen the score. It’s 19-17. I’ve been checking in whilst watching dip. You really must be at the edge of your seat. I’m keeping every single thing crossed for you and them my lovely {} xxx
You’re going to love visiting Saint Marie xx
21:48. Yes!! It’s 24-17. I feel excited but my tum feels tight as well. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. I hope medicine is holding your hand tightly.
It’s 22:00. 27-17. Yay!!! I can imagine how ecstatic you must be. Absolutely brilliant!! You must have loved every thrilling rollercoaster of a minute. Thoroughly enjoy celebrating my beautiful sweetheart. I’m over the moon for you!! {} xxx
Nnight. Seep well and blissfully my lovely, with the sweetest of dreams for both of us. I love you, I hug you and I kiss you. Yay!!! My heart and I are beaming with joy for you. Please enjoy a glass of medicine for me {} xxxx