I’m Still Here {} xxx
10th May 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
I really hope you’re okay my lovely, and you went out in the glorious sunshine today. I really hope so. I was thinking of you {} xxx It was the perfect day for a beautiful walk. Everything’s coming to life again isn’t it?!! I imagine your magical garden is starting to bloom, and your very special friends are returning to say hello.
I’m so shattered. I really hope you’ve had time to rest properly this weekend. I hope so {} xx
It’s 22:33. I know it’s unlikely you’ll be reading these, but I just need you to know that I’m still here. These letters are also my way of letting you know this {} xxx I don’t want you to ever think that I’ve deserted you.
I wish it wasn’t like this. I just need time to sort my mess out, so that it can be safe for both of us. I know I might’ve messed everything up for good last year, but I’ll continue to hope until I can say a very happy hello to you again {} xx
Everything is absolutely fine with the person who’s seeing the spiritual healer. I told them about the spiritual teachings of my perpetrator, how I followed everything blindly, and how he made me dependant on him. I told them how I lost myself along with the best years of my life.
The person was lovely and understood. They are happy with what they’re experiencing, and it’s helping them. That’s the most important thing. We all have our own healing paths, and we all have our own truths.
My concern about them being isolated and it consuming them, is naturally still there, but I’m there for them. I’m not as worried now.
Despite being stuck in my body and this room, I do feel freerer in my mind now than I did then, and I have autonomy. I never want to go back to that way of thinking or being ever again.
This has brought up a lot of things, especially the sexual abuse. I didn’t want to do it, but he convinced me I needed to, to get better. I had a shower straight away because I felt so dirty. I felt clean afterwards and didn’t want him to come near me. He used to take the piss out me and said, “Don’t touch me, I’ve had a bath”. He was a bastard.
I didn’t expect to write that. I’ll stop now. Again, I just want you know that I am still here. I’m still here for you and I still care deeply about you {} xxx
I imagine you might be tucked up in bed, or getting ready to. Sleep well, sleep restfully and peacefully my precious angel, and dream sweet dreams for me. Here’s James Taylor’s You Can Close Your Eyes, to help you go to sleep {} xxx
I do love you, and my love, hugs and kisses are always with you. Nnight, sleep tight {} xxxx It’s 23:23.