My Special Day…
30th May 2026
Hello my most beautiful, dazzling and precious starshine {} xxx
It’s 20:20. I can finally write to you. I wanted to all day. How are you my lovely? I hope you’re feeling wonderful and you’re enjoying the most gorgeous, fun and chilled day. I hope you’re precious heart’s filled with lots of love, sunshine, music and magic {} xxx
You must be enjoying your fabulous music party. Brilliant!!! Thoroughly enjoy it for me too my wonderful one xx
I just listened to Paul with you {} xxx It’s a brilliant album isn’t it?! Deeply personal and incredibly beautiful. It felt like reading his letters or journals.
I absolutely love all of the songs, and I couldn’t help but think of you with almost all of them. It might’ve been just a few words. I know you’d have your copy, but I wish I could’ve sent it to you xx Paul’s given me comfort knowing that it’s okay for me to feel how I do. I’m human.
I wish I could ask you for your thoughts about the album. I do know you’d love all of them as well. I can’t help but imagine you playing them, and playing them brilliantly!! {} xxx
His complete honesty and openness really struck me as well. He’s not afraid of saying how he feels is he? Perhaps this is another reason why his songs resonate so much.
Then I thought of these letters to you. But then, I’ve always been completely honest and open with you as well. I couldn’t be any other way with you {} xxx The other thing is, no one’s going to read these. You might never read them either.
I know it wouldn’t have felt like it in March last year, but I haven’t broken my promise. I honestly haven’t {} I was a complete mess at that time and badly triggered. I had no idea what was going on internally. A bomb had gone off, and I was terrified and in pieces. Please forgive me my lovely {} xxx
It’s 21:21. I woke up badly crashed today. I pumped myself up with lots of oxygen and kept everything crossed. I took these photos first thing. I didn’t look like this after I finished. I crashed and was back with oxygen.
I always love getting photos from loved ones. They mean so much to me, especially since I can’t see them anymore. I rarely send photos of myself because I’m a complete mess most of the time, but I did today.
I also sent a dear friend a photo of me lying down afterwards, with oxygen. I looked a mess. This is how I am most of the time. You’ve seen me like this. I didn’t need to hide it from you {} xx
These photos are just brief moments, but lovely moments when I don’t look so ill.
I still have messages to write. I haven’t been able to open my cards and presents yet. Liron’s wasn’t wrapped, which was perfect. She opened the gorgeous orange tree and some exquisite roses for me.
I really hope you’ve enjoyed some medicine for me my lovely {} xx We had Château Phelan Segur’s Grand Vin Saint-Estèphe, 2005. It’s superb. You’d love it. I know you would. I wish I could share it with you. I always loved sharing things with you xx
Liron just told me that she was in two minds whether to order the album for you as well. She’s such a beautiful sweetheart. Again, I would’ve, but I know you would have your very special copy {} xxx
It’s a shame it’s so cloudy tonight. We can’t see moon. I won’t be able to say hello to you. I wish I could {}
You’ve been with me all day, not just with Paul, but that special moment was just with you {} xxx
It’s 22:22. I imagine you might be happily playing your gorgeous heart out. Wonderful!! I really wish I could hear you. I wish I could speak with you.
First Star of the Night is so comforting isn’t it? I’m going to leave you with that one my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
When it’s time to close your gentle eyes, get as snug as a bug in a rug, and sleep well and peacefully, with sweet dreams for me xx
I love you and I’m hugging you just like the very last time. Play and rest well my lovely {} xxxx