New Life…
25th June 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine,
It’s 11:44. How are you? I really do hope you’re okay my lovely, and you managed to get some restful sleep. I hope so {} xxx We still have three more days of this heat.
If you are at work, I’m keeping every single thing crossed it’s not too draining, and you close to fans. I just realised that you might be having your special visitors this week. I know it’ll go brilliantly as always, and they’ll love it xx
I hope this French translation by POCHITA@pochita_arc makes you chuckle as well xx
Algorithm is a new song from Natalie Imbruglia. I hope you enjoy it my lovely xx There are moments where I couldn’t help but think of Grace Jones. I’d love to know what you think.
I’m feeling a bit better emotionally today, even though the outcome is still likely to be the same. There’s nothing I can do to change it. I’m so glad I have therapy later. I do need to speak with someone about it. The strong possibility of us both ending our lives is…
At the beginning of one of the episodes of the Good Fight, they put photos of men who’d been accused of sexual abuse. I was extremely shocked to see Dustin Hoffman there. I had no idea.
It’s 17:12. If you are at work, then I hope you’ll be escaping any minute now. I hope you already have {} xxx
Therapy was difficult. It’s funny, she pointed out something that came to mind earlier today. In some ways it’s similar to how I felt after my mum died, with me wanting to join her.
My therapist said that there’s a finality to what I was saying today, and there was. I can’t see it becoming safer for Liron by the next election. There needs to be a drastic shift in the political landscape and narrative.
It’s 17:17 xx
My therapist told me to speak with my doctor, especially because I didn’t want to die, but there’s nothing they can do to help. There’s nothing anyone can do. I don’t need anti-depressants. I don’t need anyone checking up on me, because I’m not going to do anything in the near future.
I told her how fed up I am with therapy. Not her, but with dealing with the past all the time. She told me that therapy does take a lot of energy, it’s very difficult and exhausting. She suggested taking a break, but I can’t because I feel I’m so close, and it’s a safe space for me to fully feel. It’s difficult for me to do this outside of therapy.
Without therapy, the past would still hound me and prevent me from functioning normally, so there’s no escaping it. She’s absolutely right, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I do need to continue.
It’s 18:18 xx I hope you’re winding down and cooling down with something refreshing my precious angel {} xx
I finally tried the Bottega Cinzano 1757 Vermouth di Torino Extra Dry today. It’s beautiful! Have you tried it? I don’t know why I keep getting hints of apple, but I did, rather than citrus. It’s also very woody, herby and spicy.
Again, I’m not sure if my taste buds have gone a bit AWOL. I know my nose has because I’m smelling paraffin again. I think it’s inflammation in the brain. I need proper rest.
I think the vermouth would taste yummier chilled. I’m going to make a Gibson soon. I need to get some cocktail onions. I’m not sure if our favourite gin is right for it though. I will try it and see. I have an unopened bottle of Roku gin. That might work better with the flavours.
I really hope you’ve made yourself a Gibson, and you thoroughly loved it xx Cary and Eva would be happy for us to join their special club!
Please take the greatest and gentlest care of yourself my precious starshine {} xx Rest well this evening. Just one more day until the weekend.
Enjoy the most beautiful, sunny and chilled evening, and make your precious heart sing for me too. Enjoy your fabulous meal as well {} xxx I had Cooks’ Chicken Ramen. It’s delicious and light, perfect for this heat.
I love you so much, and I’m sending you tons and tons of love, with the biggest and tightest of magical healing and protective bear hugs, covered in cooling kisses {} xxxx
I miss you so much. I wish I could speak with you directly. Hug, hug. Kiss kiss {} xxx