Stop the Pigeon…
29th March 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine,
It’s 17:28. The sun’s finally come out to play. It’s been such a miserable and cold day. I hope you’re okay my lovely, and you’re keeping snug and warm. I hope you’re having a very lazy and restful day, and enjoying doing as you please {} xxx
I imagine you will be busy during your holiday, but I hope you’ll be taking everything at a gentle pace. I imagine you’ll also enjoy catching up with loved ones, which is wonderful. Thoroughly enjoy your beautiful and precious time together xx
With the sun coming out, the cooing has just started again.
Someone just posted an old story of a pigeon, who was caught smuggling ketamine from Iraq to Kuwait, in a little backpack. Perhaps this morning’s pigeons were organising their next drop off. There was a sense of urgency to their coo-cooing.
Stop the Pigeon, from Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines, comes to mind. Perhaps the pigeon is carrying drugs with the secret messages!!
It’s been a difficult day all round. I really hope all the hate, death and destruction we’re seeing is short lived.
How is it at work regarding trans people? I really do hope they haven’t taken a hard stance. I can’t imagine they would, but then so many unimaginable things are happening right now. The world is unrecognisable isn’t it?! I wish I could speak with you directly. I wish I could sort out my mess quickly. So many wishes…
I really do hope you and all your loved ones are keeping well, and everything is okay. I hope so {} xxx
I am thinking the very worst outcome at the moment. My protective voice is very loud. When I talked about what emotional safety is for me, I think I was wrong. I do run at the prospect of being hurt. I’m experiencing this for the very first time.
I think I do have fearful avoidant tendencies, along with being anxious and secure. I’ve always avoided conflict in the past. I was terrified, so running away was the only option I thought I had. I couldn’t speak. I expected everyone to be like my family. I see that now. It’s a trauma response.
That has thankfully changed since being with Liron. It is about feeling safe, and being able to speak freely without fear, judgement or chastisement. It’s being able to have difficult and painful conversations, and knowing that it’s okay to have them. Nothing to fear. It can also lead to a deeper understanding of each other, which is so important.
With you, it’s the first time I feel like running away because of my fear of getting hurt. I’ve never experienced this before. You mean so much to me. Nothing’s changed. I promise you and I’m promising myself, that I won’t let this fear stop me from contacting you, when I’m in a better place {} xx
I guess it’s because of the uncertainty, and needing certainty. I know there’s a very good chance you no longer want me in your life, but this is something I will need to deal with if it happens. I won’t let my protective voice dictate what I should do out of fear.
I’m still hoping everything will be okay though. I just don’t want to fuck anything up again. I wish I could hug you {}
It’s 19:36. I hope you don’t need to cook this evening. I hope you can fully chill, relax and enjoy just being. Take it gently my lovely and enjoy the most beautiful evening, with your precious heart filled with love, joy, music and lots of magic {} xxx
I might be a bit quiet. I am struggling. I wish I could fully switch off. I’ll do my best. I’m getting so stressed about the messages. I need my brain to work a bit better, and I need more energy. I’m waking up feeling fluey, which is never a good sign.
Please give yourself lots of love, care and kindness for me my precious starshine {} xxx
I’m going to leave you with Ed Harcourt’s Strange Beauty. I hope you enjoy it my lovely xx
I love you so much and I’m hugging you extremely tightly. I hope you can feel it. They’ll stay with you {} xxxx
It’s 20:20. Just finished posting this to you {} xxx