Misunderstood…
17th November 2025
Good morning my most beautiful and precious starshine,
How are you my lovely? I really do hope you’re okay and you slept like a baby {} xxx It’s a glorious day with the clear sky and Sun beaming. I hope it’s warming your precious heart as well xx
It feels a bit like groundhog day because the weather was exactly like this on this date last year. I remember it clearly because I imagined you going for a walk in it, the day after you said goodbye.
It’s 10:40 and I’ve just made myself a cuppa. You’ll be having your special cuppa coffee very soon as well. Wonderful!! They’re going to be so excited to hear about your fabulous weekend, and they’ll give you lots of hugs and kisses from me as well {} xx
It’s 11:11. I’m not really a whisky drinker, but I finally remembered the name of my favourite whisky. It’s been bugging me all morning. It was the brilliant video, How to Drink Whisky Like a Sir by Richard Patterson, that reminded me. He’s so funny. I can’t remember if I’ve sent it to you in the past.
I knew it was a Speyside single malt whisky, but couldn’t remember the name of the distillery. Just remembered that it’s Mortlach, and it’s 16 years old. It was unavailable for a very long time, so I thought they’d stopped. The bottle has changed. The whisky is beautifully smooth, sweet with hints of toffee and chocolate. It’s divine. I fell in love with it when I first tried it in Aberdeen.
I’m amazed to find the bottle. It’s the old Flora and Fauna bottling. The price is eye watering, between £325 – £350!! I paid a fraction of the price. It was discontinued in 2014. I was incredibly lucky to savour this magnificent and decadent whisky. This particular one is special. I never knew. They say Flora and Fauna tastes different to the new Mortlach.
I knew I ordered a bottle years ago, but couldn’t find the email. I did come across emails where I mentioned the whisky, but frustratingly not by name. By reading my emails, what struck me was just how unrecognisable my life is now, but at the same time, I’m still the same person.
It saddens me deeply that I can’t have the contact I used to, and be the friend I used to be. But despite the very sparse contact, how I am with everyone is the same. That gives me great comfort. In the same way my dad couldn’t break me, this illness hasn’t either. It’s just severely challenged me in ways I could never have imagined, but it hasn’t quite taken everything away from me. It’s 11:44.
I sadly will need to be quiet again. I am struggling with my symptoms. I look completely shattered as well. I need to try and completely switch off and rest. It’s shower today. I do need to quickly respond to a message if I can.
Sun’s looking forward to joining you during lunch. Thoroughly enjoy it for me too my lovely {} xx It’s 12:12.
I almost forgot, it’s the very first time I heard the orchestral version of The Last Time by Andrew Oldham Orchestra. Up until now, I’d only heard The Rolling Stones’ song. I now fully understand the dispute with it being used in Bittersweet Symphony, but taking all the royalties away from The Verve wasn’t right either. It’s a different song. It’s good it’s been resolved.
You probably already know this, but I just found out that The Rolling Stones was inspired by The Staple Singers’ This May Be The Last Time. Copyright infringement is a minefield isn’t it?!!
Rod Stewart sampling Jorge Ben Jor’s Taj Mahal, in Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?, also comes to mind. I did smile when Rod said it was “unconscious plagiarism”.
I also heard Nina Simone’s stunning and moving rendition of Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood for the very first time. I hope you enjoy relaxing to them later {} xxx
They always thought the worst of me at home, without any grounds, and I now see that it’s been carried forward. I think everyone will think the worst of me. I think this is where my need to be completely honest and clear comes from, otherwise I’ll be seen as a bad person. Unconsciously, the need to be a good girl is there. I see it now. They made me believe that I was a very bad person.
Nina Simone’s version has really hit me. I really do hope you don’t think the worst of me. Triggers and confusion got in the way, but my intentions have always been good. Everything’s been unconditional. It always is.
Please take the greatest and gentlest care of yourself my precious sweetheart, and have a wonderful week. I really hope there’s no late night. Rest well whenever you can, and thoroughly enjoy doing the things you love in the evenings, especially playing {} xxx
I’m with you, and so are my love, hugs and kisses. That magical healing and protective comfort blanket will wrap itself around you snuggly as well. Keep safe and warm my lovely. I love you {} xxxx It’s 13:13.