Night Guard…
23rd January 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
It’s 03:36. I still can’t sleep. My brain doesn’t switch off. It’s my visit to the dentist that’s swirling around my head.
My original dentist has left, so this is a different person. They had a problem fitting my night guard onto my teeth. They thought something might have changed with my two toothless gaps. They finally put it in place and asked if it felt okay. I said yes. They didn’t give me a mirror, so I couldn’t see what it looked like.
When I got up to leave, they weren’t their normal friendly self. As always, I thought I was to blame. I thought I must’ve said something wrong in a conversation we had. I even brought this up with Liron.
It’s only in the evening and the following morning, that I realised why their behaviour changed. This is the worst night guard I’ve ever had. It’s shallow on the one side. It doesn’t sit firmly and my tongue gets caught on the underside. I woke up with my lower front teeth aching. It’s unusable.
They knew it wasn’t right, yet they let me walk out with it. This is what angers me. They weren’t honest with me. Mistakes happen, and it’s absolutely fine. It can be fixed. It’s their complete silence that upsets me.
Getting to these appointments are so difficult for me, especially since last year. I just don’t have the energy. I was very ill afterwards, and I still am. If they told me it wasn’t right, then we could’ve taken another mold there and then. You just need to look at this one to know it’s not right. It doesn’t need to be on my teeth.
Liron said that I will need to tell them when I return. My initial reaction was, “I can’t. I don’t want to upset them.” It’s been two days and I realise I can’t stay silent. I will just let them know that they just needed to tell me that it didn’t fit correctly, and shown it to me. It would’ve been absolutely fine with that. Mistakes happen and it’s easy to fix
My last night guard was a second attempt as well. My previous dentist was unsure about the fitting, and told me to return if it wasn’t right. That’s all that was needed.
When someone’s not being honest, then the trust naturally goes. I don’t think I can trust them with my teeth, especially if something needs fixing. I’m sure they’re great, but if they think it’s fine to have an ill-fitting, lopsided and shoddy night guard, then I can’t put my teeth in their hands. It doesn’t feel safe.
I remember taking a photo of my last night guard for you. It was a beautifully made. I’m going to ask for the same lab to do the next one. This one isn’t theirs.
I’ve always stayed silent in the past and put up with a lot. Never complained when it was warranted. I returned to many out of guilt and loyalty. Always feeling like the bad person doesn’t help with this.
I had a long standing hairdresser, who I feel deliberately burnt my hair with their straighteners. On that occasion, they came to my home to cut it. They would’ve smelt it burning. That was the last time I saw them.
As a child, keeping silent at home kept me safe, and this has stayed with me. I’m now learning that when we stay silent, then it makes what they do acceptable. We become complicit and they’ll do it to others. This is why I need to say something.
There also needs to be some accountability when something goes wrong, which could also be shared accountability. It’s acknowledging it, rather than pretending it hasn’t happened. My experience with my dentist and my old hairdresser are good examples of this, as well as the silence after the perpetrator got completely drunk.
When I look back, this happened so many times throughout my life. I was too scared to say anything. I can’t let that fear silence me anymore. I can’t pretend something hasn’t happened, or that it’s okay even when it’s not.
The young women bravely broke their silence to bring the perpetrator to justice. In doing so, they set me free. I will always be eternally thankful and grateful to them for this, and for their immense courage.
I do greatly appreciate it when someone is honest with me, and it helps build trust. This is why I can give my hairdresser free rein with my hair. I completely trust him with it. Him being amazing at what he does naturally helps as well, along with being really lovely.
It’s 04:44. There seems to be a running theme at the moment, around the reliance on people, honesty, trust and accountability. It explains why the perpetrator popped up as well. Most of the work is done unconsciously. Our brains are magnificent aren’t they?!! They do have a mind of their own.
I’m going to try and get some sleep. I hope you’re enjoying sweet and blissful dreams my lovely. Morning, morning {} xxxx