Please Forgive Me…
26th January 2026
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
I think there were a lot of things that were inadvertently being triggered in 2024. It wasn’t just the sexual abuse from my dad, it’s what happened with the perpetrator as well. I’ve kept them in separate boxes, but they’re both intertwined. Of course they would be.
I blocked the memories of the sexual abuse with the perpetrator, as I did with my dad. Both saw me as an object, and it was about their needs. Mine didn’t come into it. They felt they could do whatever they wanted with me. The brief moment with my friend comes to mind as well. They just took.
I honestly had no idea, and I had no control over the triggers. I can’t tell you how deeply and truly sorry I am my lovely. I really am. Please, please forgive me {} xxx
It’s 22:58. I imagine you might be getting ready to sleep. I just imagined you making your teeth happy. I really do hope you’re okay my lovely. I hope so {} xxx
I was completely knocked out today and slept. I need a lot more restful sleep to help recover. I just got this realisation and needed to tell you.
Everything feels like such a mess, it really does. Again, I completely understand if you don’t want to resume our friendship. I’m still hoping there might be a chance though. I hope there’s a chance to clear the air and all the misunderstandings. I hope so. I also hope you’re reading these. Fingers and toes crossed {} xx
Nnight, sleep well and restfully my precious starshine, with sweet dreams for you and for me {} xxx
With much love, and the biggest and tightest of bear hugs and kisses {} xxxx
It’s 04:28. Storm Chandra’s horrendous. I’m so sorry you have to go out in it. Get there and back safely my lovely. I’m keeping everything crossed it calms down by this evening.
Take the greatest care of yourself. Despite the storm, I hope you have a really good day. Coffee will work their magic and will be extra comforting {} xx
I’m sending you an infinite amount of magical healing and protective love, bear hugs and kisses. They’ll wrap themselves around you and keep you warm. Take care {} xxx