Rest Well My Lovely…
19th October 2025
Good morning my most beautiful and precious starshine {} xxx
How are you? I really do hope you’re okay my lovely, and you had a restful and peaceful night’s sleep. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a long week. You must be completely shattered. I hope you had a wonderful lie in, and you’re enjoying a very lazy morning. With the gloom outside, today’s the perfect day to snuggle up, relax and rest {} xxx
I know you’ll have things to do, but I hope you can take everything at a gentle and relaxed pace.
This popped up just for you {} xx It’s Roger Daltrey singing Days at The Wolverhampton Civic Hall, on 24th April 2025. I think it’s very poignant. It also includes an interaction with an audience member, which I thought you’d find funny.
I also have some special magic for you, thanks to Learn Something@cooltechtipz on Twitter. It’s pretty amazing and very beautiful. I hope you love it too {} xx
Another bit of magic. Chuck Berry was born on 18th October. Funnily, I searched and found his concert at the BBC on 29 March 1972 last week. I haven’t forgotten. As you know, energy and intolerance to sound are two of my biggest obstacles. I hope to watch it soon though. I know I’ll love it. Thank you so much my beautiful sweetheart {} xxx
I’m struggling really badly. It’s the crash. It’s going to take a month or two to recover from all the appointments. I did a year’s worth of appointments in a month. Then again, it’s recovering from the whole year as well. I feel completely knocked out and ill. It’s difficult having a conversation with Liron at the moment, without it setting off the fluey symptoms. I’m at my absolute limit.
The pain from the surgery is tiny, and the bleed is small as well. The crash is a million times worse. As always, I try to minimise everything. I’m minimising the surgery, telling myself it wasn’t very much. I would never think or do this with anyone else, but I think it’s my coping mechanism. It’s a harmful one. It’s harmful to me. I expect myself to be fine with everything that happens, and just get on and move onto the next thing.
This is how I’ve always been. I needed to do this to survive. My brain’s become wired this way. Instead of switching off now, and resting completely so that I can recover, my brain is working on the connection of the surgery with the trauma of being raped at fourteen. It’s naturally there, but I need my brain to be quiet so that I can recover some energy first. I need some peace and quiet for a little while.
What’s happening at the moment is quite remarkable really. The timing and nature of the surgery is absolutely perfect, and it’s helping me with another missing piece of that jigsaw puzzle. I will explain later.
I can’t help but remember all the times I told you about the heavy bleeding, and not knowing where the blood was coming from. It literally poured out like an open tap for a few days. At least I know the cause now, and it’s thankfully been removed.
It’s 11:11. A dear friend of mine reminded me of Have I Got News For You. I haven’t seen it for over a decade. I used to watch it all the time before. Do you watch it? It is hilarious. I’ve been catching up with some of the episodes from this year.
I think Stephen Mangan is very funny. It’s in his presenting episode that I learnt, Heinz have changed the name of their Tartare sauce to Fish and Chips Sauce. I thought of you straight away, and would love to know what you think. I imagine your very special tartare sauce would be quite insulted if you were to call them by the new name. Sacrilege!
I’ve done well to write this today, but my symptoms are starting to worsen, so I’ll stop now. Before I go, the orange flowering leaves on Bougainvillea are starting to bloom. I wasn’t sure if she was going to. The green leaves had happily taken over this year. I think she’s going to blossom very soon. It’s the healthiest she’s been since I’ve had her.
I almost forgot about the Greens beautiful video, which uses the gorgeous words from The British by Benjamin Zephaniah. Isn’t it fantastic?!! I imagine you love it too {} xx It brought me to tears and lifted my spirits. It really is a breath of fresh air after all the hate that’s being shoved down us incessantly, from the politicians and the media. We desperately need that positive and true messaging. We’re fed so many lies, it’s time to add a huge dollop of truth to the ingredients as well.
Take it very gently and restfully my precious starshine, and have plenty of rest breaks with coffee. Enjoy a very beautiful, chilled and relaxing day, with your precious heart bursting with love, sunshine, wonder and magic {} xxx Just one more week {} xx
I love you so much. That wonderful comfort blanket, filled with all the magical healing love, hugs and kisses, will wrap itself around you and won’t let you go. They’re from me as well. Take the greatest care of yourself and rest well my lovely {} xxxx It’s 12.12.
It’s 14.26. Pure by The Lightening Seeds just started playing. I couldn’t help but think of you. Regardless of what happens, I always will. I love you {} xxx