“The Covenant of Love” – From the Letter by Nick Cave…
4th December 2024
Good morning my most beautiful and precious starshine,
I opened a different browser last night, and Nick Cave’s incredibly moving and powerful letter was waiting for me in my tab. I completely forgot it was there.
I remember sending it to you as soon as I first read it. I completely resonated with Nick’s words of wisdom. Every single word is true and written so beautifully and passionately. How can words expressing the importance of loving fully with all our hearts, and the consequences of it, possibly be written in any other way?
I also remember telling you how beautiful Nick’s soul is. You thought he’s brilliant as well, and you loved his letter as much as I did.
Reading Nick’s letter again has made me realise why I felt so alive with you. I first felt it when we hugged goodbye for the second time, at the train station, when we met for Christmas. I thought I saw it reflected.
I’ve felt alive with you consistently over the last five years now. You’ve also been helping to keep me alive since I became extremely ill with Long COVID, which is about the same amount of time.
There’s a part of me that has now died. My sparkle has gone. You’ve gone. There’s a big hole in my heart, and it breaks even further knowing I’ll never be able to speak with you or see you again.
I now realise the grief I’m feeling shows that I have loved you with all my heart, soul and being. I couldn’t fully understand why I felt such an overwhelming feeling of love when we hugged. I now know without a shadow of a doubt, that my love for you was whole, pure and unconditional. It still is.
Despite feeling completely devastated by your loss, I would love you just the same all over again. In fact, even more so knowing what I now know. My love for you will always reside in my heart, along with you. I hope you’ll be able to carry my love in your precious heart.
I hope my letter reached you safely. I really do hope it gave you some comfort and reassurance my lovely. I understand, and I am feeling your pain as well as mine.
I’m incredibly lucky, thankful and grateful to have found you my most adorable and precious sweetheart {} xxxx I’m just completely devastated to have lost you.
I fully understand and know what Nick Cave meant by “the covenant of love”. I’m now experiencing it for the very first time.
“A broken heart – that grief of love – is always love’s true destination. This is the covenant of love” Nick Cave.