The Very Last Time…
30th May 2025
Good morning my most beautiful and precious starshine,
How are you? I really hope you’re okay my lovely, and you’ve slept well and blissfully. I hope you’re slowly waking up and enjoying a gentle start. I’m keeping everything crossed you’re feeling more rested now. I imagine you thoroughly enjoyed the gorgeous sunshine yesterday {} xxx
I managed five and a half hours sleep without waking up. Sleep is the best medicine. I’m in a crash state and have fluey symptoms, but my body is more resilient.
I made it to the hospital yesterday, and it was lovely seeing the phlebotomist I saw last year. I did struggle with my energy and strength, and crashed when I got back. I happily fell asleep.
I caught a glimpse of the beautiful and enchanting crescent before I went to sleep last night. I thought of you {} xx
There are so many reminders of you, especially today. I feel so sad and I miss you. I can’t believe it’s been a year. Like everything else, May will always be ingrained in my heart. You sent me your brilliant and very cool rendition of Drive My Car. I revisited it a couple of days ago and loved it all over again.
You sent me photos of your fabulous studio. I was so excited to see it. The First Picture of You by The Lotus Eaters comes to mind. I remember you telling me to listen to it when I’d just got home from London years ago. It’s a beautiful song and it feels perfect for today {} xxx
I know you’d know this, but I only found out recently that our restaurant has closed down. It’s such a shame. I feel sad because those memories have gone with it. Having said that, those memories are still very fresh in my mind. It could have been yesterday…
I remember sending you Paolo Nutini’s incredibly raw and haunting Everywhere. Despite you no longer being here, it really does feel like you’re everywhere. You seeped into every part of me. I’ve just listened to it and it’s made me cry for the very first time.
Your beautiful sunny flowers from the previous year lasted incredibly long. I likened them to Dorian Gray because of their longevity, and they were straight out of the magical garden on your card. I remember everything so vividly, including how I felt {} xxx
There’s a clear path between the two houses on your card, but it now feels like a very long and winding road. I do love The Beatles stripped down version. Yes, it will always lead me back to you…
Thank you so much for your beautiful surprises, for singing Happy Birthday to me, for everything we shared, and for all your love, joy and magic {} xxx
Please enjoy a drink for me today. It’s finally going to be the Barolo, which arrived on the 30th of April last year with our favourite red. It blew me away, just like you.
Let’s enjoy the most beautiful day my lovely. I love you with all my heart and I am hugging you just like the very last time. I really hope it wasn’t for the very last time {} xxxx
10.57
I just got an email from Majestic with their champagne selection. Synchronicity has worked its special magic. Veuve Clicquot is divine and I’m so happy I got to share it with you on this day {} xxx
13.57
I just saw the photo of Banksy’s Lighthouse in The Guardian. I found the words, “I want to be what you saw in me” extremely poignant. The shadow of the bollard connects the bollard to the lighthouse, in the same way the fog connects the moon to the light in my concept for Longing. I feel very much connected to you today {} xx
I just listened to Lonestar’s Softly, where they think Banksy’s words might have come from. The lyrics made me feel very emotional {} xxx
15.15
Change of plan. Sadly the barolo is surprisingly too bitter so it’s going to be our special red. I think the universe is working its magic today. I really hope you have a bottle as well my lovely, so we can enjoy it together {} xxx
18.03
You’re the first person to introduce me to the word discombulate. It’s when we played guess the U2 song. It was a lot of fun. I just got a post with Lewis Goodall saying, “Farage is discombobulating British politics” He’s absolutely right.
I do feel scared with what’s happening at the moment. It feels like a Brexit re-run. Reform are being given a huge platform without any scrutiny from the media, especially the BBC. I’m going to join the Greens.
So many things are reminding me of you today…
20.26
I hope you’re thoroughly enjoying totp my lovely {} xxx I just joined you. I never knew With a Little Help From My Friends is a Beatles song!! Joe Cocker’s rendition is my favourite.
I image you’ve already heard this brilliant version of Desire from Stories of Surrender, but I want to send it just in case.
Going back to totp, Aztec Camera’s Somewhere in My Heart. I love that song and I’ve sent it to you a couple of times. It feels perfect for today. The star will always shine brightly for you {} xx
I also remember you sending me this beautiful live version of We Can Send Letters. We always can {} xxx
Continue enjoying the fabulous music for me too my adorable sweetheart, then sleep well with the sweetest of dreams for both of us. I love you and I’m hugging you tightly through my phone. Kiss kiss, hug hug {} xxxx