When Two Black Holes Collide…
15th July 2025
Hello my most beautiful and precious starshine,
It’s 15.08. I finally had the courage to look at some of our messages from this time last year. It was so lovely to read them. You came online at 15.07 and I almost said hello. I did write it and then I deleted it. I wish I was well enough to have sent it, but I’m not there yet. I miss you, I really do. Now I’m crying.
It’s 15.15. I also read the messages from February. I can read them more objectively now. I’m so sorry I was badly triggered. I wish I could put that right. I really do hope you’re reading these letters. There have been so many misunderstandings between us. Everything is much clearer now. Confusion has gone. I just wish I could tell you directly and we could continue. I really do hope you’re okay my lovely {} xxx
I’ve been trying to convince myself that you didn’t really care and that you wouldn’t want to know me anymore. It’s the same voice that’s trying to protect me from being hurt by the possible rejection. The truth is the love and care was mutual. I saw it clearly and objectively when I read our messages. It was so lovely and incredibly precious. You’re so lovely and incredibly precious {} xxx
I don’t know how long it will take me, but I realised that the most important thing is I’m okay within myself, regardless of whether or not I have complete peace with my past. My past might be a ball of string. I will be able to write to you directly when I am secure within myself. I am in a much better place now than February. I hope I’ll be in a much better place next year. Fingers crossed. Again, I need to make it clear, it’s absolutely fine if you don’t want to reconnect. I will understand.
I saw this article about the biggest black hole merger to date, and planned to send it to you today. Our ships crossing on WhatsApp prompted me to write straight away {} xxx Snow Patrol’s brilliant three song suite, The Lightning Strike, comes to mind. It feels perfect for this moment.
I really do hope you are keeping well my lovely, especially with your hay fever. I hope it’s not too severe. The special comfort blanket, filled with lots of magical healing love, hugs and kisses, will always be wrapped around you. I hope everyone and everything is okay {} xx
I also hope you’re enjoying the most brilliant start to your much needed holiday. Thoroughly enjoy it for me too. Have a very safe, smooth and comfortable journey, and enjoy the most beautiful time together. Enjoy savouring all the culinary delights, as well as the celestial delights {} xxx
I am with you, along with all my love, hugs and kisses. You do mean the world to me. It hit me when we collided {} xxxx
18.44
I’m hugging extremely tightly and I won’t let you go {} xxxx
22.30
I just heard The Charlatans new single We are Love. It’s lovely. I hope you enjoy it too my precious starshine. Sleep well, sleep restfully and blissfully, with sweet dreams for me {} xxx
It’s 22.33. I seem to have a thing for double digits. It began with my bank account number, which is quite special. It’s special just like you {} xx
It’s the first time I’ve heard We Sleep on Borrowed Time by The Charlatans. It’s not on the album I have. Nnight, sleep tight. It’s 22.55 {} xxxx